Anxiety Blog 3: “Why are you stressed or anxious or whatever?”

I used to be ashamed and embarrassed about suffering with anxiety. I used to have attacks, and I would think “Why can’t I deal with this? What’s wrong with me?” Now, I am open about my struggle, and as much as I can, I try to embrace it by asking “How can I solve this situation and stop it from happening again?” But whilst I have come to terms with the condition, the people surrounding me have not.

One of the most damaging things about being surrounded by people who do not understand anxiety is that they are quick to dismiss it. “Oh you’re just stressed, you need to relax”, “stop worrying”, “you’re such a buzz kill” are all things that people throw at me daily.  They do not understand that people with anxiety cannot relax because they are always on edge- they feel that something negative is impending on them. I have also realised that many people think that if you say you feel anxious, then you are simply exaggerating. This is a naive and dangerous belief.

Stress is birthed from pressures that we feel from our everyday life such as bills, deadlines or arguments with loved ones. Along with depression, anxiety is a negative effect of stress. Stress is caused by an existing factor or stressor, and anxiety is stress that continues after that stressor is gone. Anxiety is a feeling of extreme apprehension or fear, but as is often the case with me, the source or cause of the uneasiness is not always apparent, which in turn adds to the distress you feel. There is constant mental exhaustion weighing heavily on those struggling with anxiety because their mind never stops racing. These intense feelings of worry require a lot of energy to battle the thoughts of what could go wrong, has gone wrong, or may go wrong in the far future. This continuous loop of stress and overthinking thoughts of “worst case scenario” is often exacerbated by the fact that non-anxious people see this way of thinking as irrational, illogical, emotional, and crazy.

When you feel a high level of stress, our adrenal glands release adrenaline, a hormone which activates our body’s defence mechanisms. This causes heart palpitations, a rise in blood pressure, tense muscles, and the pupils of our eyes to dilate. This body’s reaction to stress often creates a sense of anxiety because our body has gone into “panic mode” which in turn “tricks” our mind into panicking too.  But severe anxiety can be far worse, adding muscular pain, chronic fatigue, vomiting and infections to the immune system to the already long list of effects. Many people often under or over eat too- both can be equally damaging.

It is important to note that some people are more susceptible to anxiety than others; ordinary every day decisions can become a serious dilemma for them and affect their normal life- sometimes causing or adding to depression. Some people turn into a recluse and are unable to face doing simple activities, whilst others suffer from "high-functioning" anxiety. Both types of anxiety are equally damaging. I have "high-functioning" anxiety and I always have to be busy and in control. I am high-achieving and a perfectionistic. I am driven by details and order in a desperate attempt to calm racing thoughts, worry, and the fear that invades every ounce of my mind and body. I am an over-thinker with a tendency to dwell on everything, often imagining worse-case scenarios that realistically will never happen. While a person with high-functioning anxiety can appear as though in control and actively engaged in the daily tasks of life, underneath this confident exterior, it is a fight to make it through the day. Because we are "high functioning", people often do not realise that we are anxious, or dismiss it because they think we must be fine because we are able to complete tasks. What people do not often realise is that at the end of the day we will go home and either continue working to feed our over-active mind (resulting in no "off" or relaxation time), or we will collapse from the stress of the day and become upset or anxious about having to do it all again the following day. This is why it is incredibly important to take time for yourself and manage your anxiety.

Personally, I haven’t yet eliminated my anxiety- I don’t even know if that is possible. But I have learnt some tips that help me decrease my adrenaline levels:

1) Reading Non- Fiction or Watching an Engaging TV Show or Film

One of the best ways to distract yourself from your own worries is to redirect your focus onto the concerns of others — whether those concerns are real or imagined.

2) Run a Hot Bubble Bath with Candles and a Book or Acoustic or Jazz Music

There is little in this world nicer than a hot bath with sweet aroma candles. If you're like me and struggle to sit still doing nothing, try taking a book or magazine to read, or even some music. Spotify has a great selection of relaxing play lists to choose from!

3) Spend Time Outdoors

When you have anxiety or depression it can be difficult to work up the courage to go outside- you worry about being surrounded by people, or your appearance, but fresh air and sunlight are proven mood boosters, whilst physical activity boosts your endorphins (your brain's feel-good neurotransmitters). It is good to go to quiet, green areas so woodland or mountain areas are best- you can even take a picnic! If it's not too far, a beach is also a good option as the sound of water is a good stress buster.

4) Practising Mindfulness 

A huge part of managing anxiety is learning how to conquer the chaos in your head, and mindful hobbies can help you achieve this goal. Hobbies that force you to be more present are great, because they can help you stay grounded when it feels like anxious thoughts are figuratively attacking your brain. Mindfulness practices - like yoga, meditation, or even going for a walk - can help slow racing or unwanted thoughts. If the weather is fine I will go for a walk. However, I do feel that when I'm anxious it can be a huge struggle to leave the house as I find the thought of going outside daunting. For this reason, I choose yoga more often.

5) Exercise

Exercising isn't for me I'm afraid. I find it incredibly difficult to work up the motivation, especially when I'm exhausted from being at work all day. However, it is a proven fact that exercising does help relieve stress, anxiety and depression. Exercise and other physical activity produce endorphins—chemicals in the brain that act as natural painkillers—and also improve the ability to sleep, which in turn reduces stress. Participating in activities such as martial arts and kick boxing also helps reduce stress and anxiety significantly as it is an opportunity to take out any frustration or anger in a safe and controlled environment.

6) Eat Healthy!

There are foods that will help reduce anxiety, and foods that will contribute to anxiety, and by choosing the right foods, you can drastically cut down on the amount of anxiety you experience – and possibly improve your mood. Foods that are rich in anti-oxidents andzinc, iron and B vitamins are all excellent for maintaining a balanced mood. Foods such as fruit (especially blueberries and bananas!), kidney beans, lentils, green vegetables, sweet potato and quinoa, provide vitamins and nutrients that are known to calm the mind and body while also increasing energy and stabilising your mood. Fatty foods, however, can have a profoundly negative affect on your body- high carb or greasy foods can drastically effect your mood, energy levels, endorphin levels and can also effect your skin.

7) Turn Off Social Media! 

There's no denying that millennials are addicted to social media, but what they may not realise is that it can be a huge source of anxiety. Feeling like your life is boring or inadequate and fearing that you're missing out on something exciting are common experiences for individuals with social media addiction. Logging out of your accounts at the end of the day, or turning off your notifications can help reduce anxiety. However, if you are like me and find it difficult to keep away from your phone, you will need to pre-occupy yourself with something else. You may even want to try leaving your phone in another room, or switching it off entirely.